Tuesday, October 22, 2013

31st New Thing ~ Lingerie On Ice

Sign me up for any  New Thing that involves 
Ruffly Rumba Panties, 
Sequin Spanx 
Fish-Net Stockings....

Who am I kidding? You can sign me up for any thing with those elements, whether it's New or not.

And any sporting event with referees who refer to missing pants.

New Thing #17 was a Seattle Thunderbirds game. I enjoyed myself. But, as I mentioned in that post, the finer points of hockey elude me.

I know, of course, that the ultimate goal in hockey is to score a goal (appropriately named).  But the rest of the rules remain a mystery. The penalty box, face-offs, cross-checking, high sticking, icing. (Although icing can't ever be a bad thing, can it?) And sitting through my first game, did not help clear any of my confusion. Puck in net...SCORE! That's all I knew for sure. The rest was pure confusion.

With Roller Derby (another full-contact sport on skates), I know even less

I have no idea how a team scores. But clearly, they score a LOT!!

The score in this shot is 201 to 146! 
I have no idea how that happened and I was there from the start. 
And this wasn't even the end of the bout.

You might think that sitting through a sporting event with no knowledge of the objective or the rules would be boring. Even frustrating. But with Roller Derby you'd be so wrong.

Why? The attire.
Have you seen what they wear to play Roller Derby?

Turns out they're called 'Boutfits' and they are TOTALLY worth the price of admission! I love this game.

Almost as fun as the uniforms, is the vocabulary.
Research these terms, there may be a test later.

Barbie's Roller Derby Glossary for Beginners:
Hot lap
Hip Whip
Panty Pass
Power Jam
Fishnet Burn
Rink Rash
Sin Box
Booty Block
Derby Virgin
Self Assist

Sounds made up, I know. But all real.  
And I left out the truly suggestive terms. 
I love this game!

A pre-bout pat-down? What's not to love!
The 1st Bout was The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles..
....versus The Smurfs.

The back of the program said Autographs, 
so we made up Skater names for ourselves and practiced our signature. 

I'm not sure Justine understood the rules of flat track roller derby any more than I did.
But she watched intently.

Or maybe she was just scoping out the snack bar!

Such a friendly sport...everybody holding hands!

This gesture is straight from How To Play In the NBA .

I try not to schedule two 
New Things on one day.

Mostly, I try not to schedule two New Things on one day.

Further Clarification:
Mostly, I tell people that I try not to schedule two New Things in one day.

But the absolute truth is . . . . I NEED ALL THE New Things I CAN GET.

So, okay, two new things in one day may not have been my first choice. 
But I'm often wrong about such self-imposed 'rules.'

It's interesting how things fall into place: 
Saturday, June 1, 2013 ~ Psychic Fair and Roller Derby.

On that day, I knew I had less than 2 months to accomplish the remaining 
50 New Things before turning 51. And that I had no idea what most of them would turn out to be. (#32 turns out to be quite surprising.)

Maybe two New Things in one day needs to become a rule to keep, instead of a rule to break. 

Confession? It was a fun night but I can't tell you anything about the bout. I recall none of the great plays or maneuvers or strategies. I can't even tell you which team won. I was completely distracted and crushing on the clothes! 

I picked up a couple trinkets to commemorate (and try on later)! 
Did I mention that I love this game!

My 31st New Thing:  Roller Derby. 
The sexiest sporting event I've ever attended.